*By Joy Stephenson-Laws, Holistic Coach, J.D., Founder*

Everyone faces emotional pain at some point in life. Sometimes, bad things happen that are completely outside of our control — a car accident, bullying at school, a betrayal by a friend, or even being part of a larger injustice. When this happens, we are victims. Being a victim simply means someone else caused harm to us.

But here's the truth: staying stuck in victimhood — thinking of yourself only as someone who was hurt — can stop you from living a full, happy life. Scientists, psychologists, and spiritual teachers all agree: healing and moving forward is possible. In fact, it’s one of the most powerful things a person can do.

However, if victimhood is not healed, it often creates emotional wounds that go deeper than the original event. These emotional wounds, if left unhealed, can then cause serious physical illnesses. Let's explore this silent chain reaction — from victimhood to emotional pain to physical sickness — and how you can break free to live a healthier, happier life.

What Are Emotional Wounds?

Emotional wounds are deep feelings of pain caused by experiences that hurt your heart, mind, or spirit. They aren't visible like cuts or bruises, but they can be even more painful and long-lasting.

Some common causes of emotional wounds include:

Abuse (physical, emotional, or verbal)
Bullying
Betrayal by a friend or family member
Loss of a loved one
Neglect
Constant criticism or being made to feel "not good enough"
Abandonment or rejection

According to the American Psychological Association (APA, 2017), emotional wounds can cause ongoing feelings of sadness, fear, anger, shame, or helplessness. If these feelings aren't addressed, they can stay buried inside and affect every part of your life.

How Victimhood Creates Emotional Wounds

When a person is harmed — whether physically, emotionally, or socially — they naturally feel fear, anger, sadness, or betrayal. If these feelings are not acknowledged, processed, and healed, they settle in the body as emotional wounds.

Psychologist Dr. Martin Seligman found that people who experience repeated trauma or victimization often develop "learned helplessness"—the belief that they have no control over their lives (Seligman, 2011). This mindset deepens emotional wounds and leads to lasting pain and disconnection.

Example: A child who is bullied at school may begin to believe they are worthless. If these feelings aren't healed, the emotional wound can continue to affect their self-esteem and relationships for years.

Real-Life Example: Consider "Sarah," a woman who was emotionally abused by her parents growing up. Constant criticism and lack of support made her feel powerless and unseen. As Sarah grew older, she developed anxiety and low self-esteem, always expecting rejection. Because she never fully healed her emotional wounds, her body stayed in a constant state of stress. By her late twenties, Sarah suffered from severe irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), migraines, and frequent colds. Doctors could find no physical reason for her illnesses — until Sarah began trauma therapy and discovered how much pain she had been holding inside. As she worked through her emotional wounds, her physical symptoms began to improve.

How Unhealed Emotional Wounds Cause Physical Illness

When you experience emotional pain, your brain and body respond as if you are in danger. Your brain sends signals to release stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. This is helpful for short-term dangers, but when emotional wounds stay unhealed, your body stays in "fight-or-flight" mode for a long time.

Long-term stress damages your body.

Here are some ways it happens:

Weakened Immune System: Chronic stress weakens your immune defenses, making you more likely to get infections (Harvard Health Publishing, 2020).
Inflammation: Ongoing emotional stress causes inflammation throughout the body, which is linked to heart disease, diabetes, arthritis, and even cancer (Dhabhar, 2018).
Digestive Problems: Emotional wounds often show up as stomachaches, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), or loss of appetite (Mayo Clinic, 2022).
Heart Disease: Studies have found that people with untreated depression and anxiety (often caused by emotional wounds) are at higher risk for heart attacks and strokes (Kivimäki & Steptoe, 2018).
Chronic Pain: Emotional pain can actually trigger physical pain. For example, many people with fibromyalgia, migraines, and back pain also have a history of trauma or unresolved grief (van der Kolk, 2015).

The important thing to understand is: The body keeps the score. (van der Kolk, 2015) Even if you try to forget emotional wounds, your body remembers.

Real-World Examples

Example 1: PTSD and Heart Health Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) from emotional trauma has been linked to a much higher risk of heart disease. A study from The Lancet found that people with PTSD are 61% more likely to develop cardiovascular problems (Bhattarai et al., 2020).

Example 2: Grief and Immune System People grieving the loss of a loved one have weaker immune responses for months or even years after the loss. Research shows that grieving people are more likely to get sick, heal more slowly from wounds, and even have higher rates of serious illnesses (Harvard Health Publishing, 2020).

Example 3: Childhood Trauma and Adult Illness The famous Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study found that people who experienced childhood abuse, neglect, or household dysfunction were much more likely to develop chronic diseases like diabetes, depression, and cancer later in life (Felitti et al., 1998).

How to Be Proactive and Heal Emotional Wounds

Healing emotional wounds takes courage, but it is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself — and your health.

1. Acknowledge the Pain

Pretending you’re "fine" only pushes wounds deeper. It's okay to admit when you are hurt.

Tip: Start by journaling about experiences that caused you pain. Writing things down can help you see patterns and start letting emotions out (APA, 2017).

2. Talk to Someone Safe

Sharing your feelings with someone who listens without judgment — a friend, a parent, a therapist — is very powerful. Studies show that people who talk about their trauma heal faster (Gross & Thompson, 2017).

Tip: Therapy isn't just for "serious" problems. It’s a smart, strong choice for healing.

3. Practice Mind-Body Healing

Activities like yoga, meditation, breathwork, or even regular exercise help calm the nervous system. These activities lower cortisol levels and reduce inflammation in the body (Pascoe et al., 2017).

Tip: Start simple. Even 5 minutes of deep breathing a day can begin to reset your stress response.

4. Forgive (For Yourself)

Forgiveness doesn’t mean saying what happened was okay. It means choosing not to let the pain control you anymore.

Research from Mayo Clinic shows that forgiveness improves heart health, lowers blood pressure, and boosts mental health (Mayo Clinic, 2022).

Tip: You can forgive someone in your heart even if you never talk to them again.

5. Create a New Story

Don't let emotional wounds define your life. You are not your past — you are your future.

Tip: Focus on what strengths you gained from your experiences. Maybe you became more compassionate, more resilient, or more determined.

6. Get Enough Sleep and Healthy Nutrition

Sleep and good nutrition are the building blocks of healing. When your body is nourished and rested, it can better process emotions and repair stress damage (Harvard Health Publishing, 2020).

Tip: Try to get 8 hours of sleep each night and eat foods rich in antioxidants, like fruits, vegetables, and nuts.

How Drugs Can Affect Healing

When people are struggling with emotional wounds or physical pain, they sometimes turn to drugs — either prescribed medications or illegal substances — to try to feel better. While some medications can be part of a healthy healing plan, relying on drugs to avoid emotional pain can actually slow or block true healing.

Here’s how drugs can negatively affect the healing process:

Temporary Numbing: Drugs like alcohol, marijuana, opioids, or even anti-anxiety medications can numb emotional pain. This might feel good in the short term, but it prevents you from truly facing and processing your emotions (Koob & Volkow, 2016).
Increased Stress on the Body: Many substances (including alcohol and stimulants) increase cortisol and adrenaline levels, putting even more stress on your brain, heart, liver, and immune system (Sinha, 2008).
Brain Changes: Long-term drug use can rewire parts of the brain that control emotions, memory, and decision-making, making it harder to manage stress or heal emotional wounds (Volkow et al., 2016).
Hidden Emotional Wounds: Drugs can cover up pain temporarily, but they don't make it disappear. The emotional wounds remain buried, and they often resurface stronger later on.

Example: Imagine someone who was emotionally hurt by a breakup. Instead of grieving and healing, they drink alcohol every night to "numb the pain." Over time, their emotional wounds remain unhealed, while their body suffers from liver problems, weakened immunity, and worsened depression.

Important Note: Sometimes doctors prescribe medications like antidepressants to support healing, especially when combined with therapy, good sleep, exercise, and emotional work. When used properly under a doctor's care, medications can be helpful. The danger comes when drugs are used alone to escape feelings instead of working through them.

Final Thoughts: Breaking the Chain

Unhealed victimhood leads to emotional wounds. Emotional wounds, if ignored, damage the body.

The good news? Healing is possible. By facing your pain, talking about it, caring for your mind and body, and choosing forgiveness and growth, you can break this silent chain reaction.

You can set yourself free — and give yourself the gift of a healthier, happier life.

You are not what happened to you. You are what you choose to become next.

Healing is brave. Healing is powerful. Healing is life-saving.

Start today and visit one of our experts.

Sources

American Psychological Association. (2017). "Understanding trauma."
Brewin, C. R. (2020). "Memory and PTSD: Some conclusions from the literature." Frontiers in Psychology.
Dhabhar, F. S. (2018). "The short-term stress response — Mother nature’s mechanism for enhancing protection and performance under conditions of threat, challenge, and opportunity." Nature Reviews Immunology.
Gross, J. J., & Thompson, R. A. (2017). "Emotion regulation: Conceptual foundations." Emotion Review.
Harvard Health Publishing. (2020). "Stress Management: Enhance Your Well-being by Reducing Stress."
Mayo Clinic. (2022). "Forgiveness: Letting Go of Grudges and Bitterness."
Pascoe, M. C., Thompson, D. R., Jenkins, Z. M., & Ski, C. F. (2017). "Mindfulness mediates the physiological markers of stress: Systematic review and meta-analysis." Journal of Psychiatric Research.
van der Kolk, B. (2015). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.
Felitti, V. J., Anda, R. F., Nordenberg, D., Williamson, D. F., Spitz, A. M., Edwards, V., ... & Marks, J. S. (1998). "Relationship of childhood abuse and household dysfunction to many of the leading causes of death in adults." American Journal of Preventive Medicine.
Bhattarai, J. P., et al. (2020). "Association between PTSD and cardiovascular disease." The Lancet.
Koob, G. F., & Volkow, N. D. (2016). "Neurobiology of addiction: A neurocircuitry analysis." The Lancet Psychiatry.
Sinha, R. (2008). "Chronic stress, drug use, and vulnerability to addiction." Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences.
Volkow, N. D., Koob, G. F., & McLellan, A. T. (2016). "Neurobiologic Advances from the Brain Disease Model of Addiction." New England Journal of Medicine.

The Silent Chain Reaction: How Victimhood Leads to Emotional Wounds and Physical Illness