Why That Person Drives You Crazy (And What It Says About You)
By Joy Stephenson-Laws, Holistic Coach, J.D., Founder
Your coworker interrupts. Again.
Mid-sentence, their voice bulldozes through yours like you're furniture. Your shoulders shoot up—instant armor. Jaw locks so tight your molars ache. That familiar heat crawls up your neck, spreading across your face like you've been slapped. Your hands curl into fists under the table where no one can see.
You're already three comebacks deep in your head. The devastating one-liner that would finally, finally make them understand how it feels. You can taste the words, sharp and perfect on your tongue. Your heart hammers against your ribs like it's preparing for battle.
But what if that white-hot irritation—that full-body hijacking—is actually showing you something about yourself?
OOPS, THAT'S ME!
Reflect to Reveal Your True Self
Life's a mirror—take a glance,
Friends and foes are no mistake.
Traits you love and traits you dread—
All reflections, spirit-fed.
Triggered now? Your shoulders brace,
Jaw is tight, you lose your place.
Heat behind your tired eyes—
That's your shadow, not disguise.
Admire someone shining bright?
Heart expands—you're holding light.
That surge of awe, that lifted chest—
A mirror shows what you possess.
When judgment bites or shame takes hold,
Your belly clenches, thoughts turn cold.
Don't just think—begin to feel;
The body speaks what thoughts conceal.
Mirror, mirror, pain and glow—
Every part still helps you grow.
Feel it fully, let it pass—
Wisdom rises as feelings amass.
Laugh, release, then breathe in slow—
Let your inner knowing flow.
What Your Body Already Knows
Notice where you felt that irritation about the interrupter. Chest? Throat? Shoulders? Your body recognized something before your mind could name it. Maybe it saw the part of you that was taught to stay quiet. Or the part that secretly wishes it could take up that much space.
"The people who trigger us most intensely are often reflecting parts of ourselves we've rejected or haven't claimed."
Your nervous system recognizes these patterns instantly—that's why the reaction is so physical, so immediate.
Try This Today: Next time someone irritates you, pause. Ask yourself: "What quality in them am I rejecting in myself?" Notice where your body holds that tension. That's where this pattern lives in you.
Next time: Why setting boundaries feels like war (and what your nervous system has to do with it).
Want to explore these patterns more deeply? Join my list for exclusive content from my upcoming book, From Chains to Wings.
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Joy Stephenson-Laws, J.D., is a healthcare attorney with over 40 years of experience championing fairness in the healthcare system. She is the founder of Proactive Health Labs (pH Labs), a national non-profit that now embraces a holistic approach to well-being—body, mind, heart, and spirit. As a certified holistic wellness coach, she helps individuals and families create practical, lasting health strategies. Her own experiences as a mother inspired her to write resources that spark important conversations about safety and wellness.
She is the author of Minerals – The Forgotten Nutrient: Your Secret Weapon for Getting and Staying Healthy.Her children’s book, Secrets That Sparkle (and Secrets That Sting), empowers kids to recognize safe vs. unsafe secrets in a gentle, age-appropriate way.
Her forthcoming book, From Chains to Wings, offers compassionate tools for resilience, healing, and emotional freedom.
