You’re Not Broken. Your Body Is Just Using Old Tools.
Learn why you say yes when you mean no, can’t sleep at night, and blow up over small things—and what actually helps.
By Joy Stephenson-Laws, Holistic Coach, J.D., Founder
The Reality
Someone asks for a favor. You say “of course I’ll help.” But your jaw gets tight. Your stomach drops. You didn’t want to say yes.
At night, you lie awake. Your mind replays every conversation. You check things over and over. You can’t turn it off.
Your partner leaves a spoon in the sink. One spoon. And you explode with a twenty-minute speech about respect.
Later, you think: What’s wrong with me?
Nothing is wrong with you. Your body learned these patterns years ago to keep you safe. It’s still running them today.
What This Book Does:
From Chains to Wings teaches you three steps that make change possible:
1. Notice what your body is doing
2. Understand why it makes sense
3. Try small changes (when you’re ready)
Not by forcing yourself. Not by “just relaxing.” By working with your body instead of fighting it.
You’ll Know This Is For You If:
✓ You say yes, then hate yourself for it later
✓ You can’t sleep because your brain won’t stop
✓ You blow up over tiny things
✓ You sound like your parents when you talk to your partner
These aren’t character flaws. They’re old survival tools your body still uses.
What Happens If You Do Nothing:
In six months, you’re still saying yes when you mean no. Still checking locks five times. Still lying awake exhausted.
In a year? Everyone around you walks on eggshells. Your relationships are built on a fake version of you. You’ve forgotten what it feels like to trust yourself.
You’re living like you’re still in danger from years ago. Even though that danger ended long ago.
These patterns get stronger every day you don’t understand them.
What You’ll Learn:
PART ONE: See Your Patterns
How to notice patterns without getting lost in them. Why the part watching your anxiety isn’t anxious.
How to find one safe spot in your body.
PART TWO: Work With Your Body
Why some days you can handle stress and other days you can’t. When anxiety is warning you about real danger. How to talk to the part of you that won’t let you sleep. What movement helps and what makes things worse.
PART THREE: Fix Your Relationships
Why you can’t say no (or why you explode when you try). How you catch other people’s moods. What your anger is really protecting. How to stop passing your patterns to your kids.
Each chapter has: A poem. Real science. One thing you can try today.
Why This Works:
The Author: Joy Stephenson-Laws worked with medical records for 40 years. She watched her son struggle with anxiety she had given him. So she trained as a coach. This book mixes real science with what actually works for real people.
What’s Different:
Most books say “just breathe” or “think positive.” This one explains why that doesn’t work. It shows you why your patterns make sense. Just noticing your patterns (not even changing them) is half the battle.
The Truth:
There are no quick fixes. Your patterns took years to build. They need time to change. This book gives you the method to do that.
What Readers Say:
“Finally, someone explains why breathing made my anxiety WORSE. The night guard idea changed how I sleep.”
“I’ve been in therapy for years. This book gave me words for what my body does—and why.”
“My son won’t get my patterns. This book made that possible.”
The Bottom Line:
Your patterns protected you once. Some still protect you now. You don’t need to kill them. You need to understand them.
Because when you understand them, you can sometimes choose differently.
Not always. Not right away. But sometimes.
And sometimes changes everything.
Joy Stephenson-Laws, J.D., is a healthcare attorney with over 40 years of experience championing fairness in the healthcare system. She is the founder of Proactive Health Labs (pH Labs), a national non-profit that now embraces a holistic approach to well-being—body, mind, heart, and spirit. As a certified holistic wellness coach, she helps individuals and families create practical, lasting health strategies. Her own experiences as a mother inspired her to write resources that spark important conversations about safety and wellness.
She is the author of Minerals – The Forgotten Nutrient: Your Secret Weapon for Getting and Staying Healthy.Her children’s book, Secrets That Sparkle (and Secrets That Sting), empowers kids to recognize safe vs. unsafe secrets in a gentle, age-appropriate way.
Her latest book, From Chains to Wings, offers compassionate tools for resilience, healing, and emotional freedom.