Spiritual, Not Christian? Why That Still Triggers Judgment
(And What It Reveals About Faith, Fear, and Power)
By Joy Stephenson-Laws, Holistic Coach, J.D., Founder
Introduction
“Spiritual, but not Christian” sounds harmless to some, but to many Christians it raises red flags. In this post, we’ll explore why spiritual can feel threatening, the deeper dynamics at play, and how we can move beyond labels to foster genuine dialogue.
A few months ago, I invited mindset coach Peter Crone to speak at a breakfast event at my law firm. His work focuses on inner freedom, identity, and breaking mental patterns—nothing “religious,” just human transformation. Yet one attorney didn’t just decline; she resigned, saying:
“Peter Crone is a spiritual leader. Attending his talk would go against my religion.”
She never heard a word—“spiritual” alone was enough to drive judgment.
When “Spiritual” Feels Like a Red Flag
Across many Christian spaces, spiritual is often mistaken for:
Rejection of Jesus: Abandoning Christ for vague or incorrect beliefs.
Occult or New Age Experimentation: Entering deceptive or unscriptural practices.
Self-Centered Pride: Elevating personal experience over communal faith.
These reactions usually stem from fear—the worry that any path not explicitly anchored in Jesus might lead believers astray.
Two Ways to Read John 14:6
This fear often hinges on one scripture:
“I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6, NIV)
Gatekeeper Reading: Jesus is the only valid access point; other practices are incomplete or deceptive.
Guide-Centered Reading: Jesus models a way of being—love, surrender, inner truth—that can manifest in diverse spiritual paths.
Understanding these lenses helps explain why some draw hard boundaries around “Christian,” while others welcome a broader “spiritual family.”
Real-Life Snapshots
Pop the Balloon: Instant Dismissal
On the dating show Pop the Balloon, a man said, “I’m spiritual.” The woman across from him popped her balloon and said, “I’m a Christian.” With that, the possibility of connection ended — not because of who he was, but because of how he identified.
Takeaway: Label-driven fear blocks genuine connection.
Yvonne Orji: Building Bridges
Actress Yvonne Orji, a devout Christian, uses journaling, meditation, baths, and vision boarding to “reset my mind, body, and soul,” as she told Vogue.
Takeaway: Personal spiritual practices often enrich rather than compete with core beliefs.
What Spirituality Actually Offers
Far from promoting self-importance, spirituality invites us to rediscover our connection to the sacred and to one another:
Inner Divine: Recognizing that the same creative Source behind galaxies pulses within each heart—transforming God from distant judge to loving companion.
Present Healing: Shifting from deferred salvation to immediate wholeness. Mindful breathing and guided visualization help address wounds and cultivate daily peace.
Personal Authority: Validating our own sensations, experiences, and insights. Traditions guide us, but spirituality affirms our inner compass as trustworthy.
Creative Collaboration: Fostering empathy and collective responsibility by honoring our place in a shared web of life, and opening us to flow and co-creation.
“I’m not the ocean—I’m a drop of it. But that drop still carries the whole.”
“So You Think You’re God?” – The Misunderstanding at the Heart of It All
Everyday spiritual phrases often come across as claims to divinity. Here’s how they’re usually heard—and what spiritual people actually mean:
“I don’t need the Bible. I trust my inner voice.”
• Heard as: “You’re rejecting God’s authority.”
• Intended: “I believe God is both within me and beyond me.”“I am divine consciousness having a human experience.”
• Heard as: “You think you’re equal to God.”
• Intended: “The same creative force that made the stars lives in me.”“When I’m in alignment, I feel union with something bigger.”
• Heard as: a boast of self-deification
• Intended: an inner experience of sacred connection, not a claim to replace the Divine.
This echoes Jesus’ own words: “The kingdom of God is within you.” (Luke 17:21, NIV)
Across Wisdom Traditions: Religion and Spirituality as Partners
Many traditions view these paths as complementary:
Religion (Outer Form): Provides rituals, teachings, and community—the map and compass guiding us to the Divine.
Spirituality (Inner Journey): Focuses on direct experience—prayer, meditation, breathwork—to transform heart and mind.
Weaving Both Paths:
Ritual grounds experience: A candle, chant, or scripture anchors personal practice in shared meaning.
Experience enlivens belief: Private insights bring doctrines to life.
Community nurtures growth: Sharing practices fosters accountability and fresh perspectives.
Practice refines tradition: Contemplative exercises and creative expression keep institutions vibrant.
Together, they create a faith that is both communal and deeply personal—bridging head and heart.
How Church Structures Can Amplify Judgment
Church traditions offer guidance and unity but can unintentionally:
Focus on attendance or titles: Valuing presence or roles over personal experience.
Reward sacrifice over rest: Glorifying perseverance without celebrating healing.
Frame giving as transactional: Promising rewards for tithing, fueling performance-based faith.
When belonging depends on external approval, genuine questions feel like rebellion.
Why the Judgment Hurts Us All
There are consequences when spiritual seekers are dismissed or labeled out of fear. The impact ripples beyond individual relationships. Here are some examples:
Lost Opportunities for Healing
Holistic practices—meditation, breathwork, energy healing—help process grief and rebuild trust. Labeling these tools illegitimate cuts off vital paths to restoration.Stifled Community and Growth
Shutting down dialogue by branding someone “not Christian enough” reinforces an “us vs. them” mindset, stifling both curiosity and collective compassion.Erosion of Inner Authority
Overemphasis on external approval can undermine trust in personal intuition, making spiritual autonomy harder to reclaim.Perpetuation of Fear-Based Faith
When belonging hinges on avoiding judgment, faith risks becoming transactional and fragile. A grace-centered approach, in contrast, fosters resilience and genuine connection.
Consider a hypothetical scenario: a congregant shares a personal spiritual practice—such as yoga—in a small group and then finds herself subtly sidelined, leading to feelings of isolation and doubt about her belonging.
A Better Question
Rather than asking, “Are you a Christian?” consider opening with:
“How do you connect with the Divine in everyday life?”
“What spiritual practices—inside or outside church—help you stay grounded?”
“Where have you found healing beyond traditional boundaries?”
Shifting from labels to lived experience creates space for authentic dialogue, bridges divides, and cultivates communities grounded in curiosity, compassion, and collective growth.