Breaking Free: How to Recognize and Change Your Limiting Beliefs

By Joy Stephenson-Laws, Holistic Coach, J.D., Founder

Have you ever felt like something inside you is holding you back — even when you really want to succeed?

You’re not imagining it. That “something” could be limiting beliefs.

Let’s dive into what they are, why they matter, and how you can change them to live a fuller, freer life.

What Are Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs are thoughts or ideas that you believe are true, but that actually hold you back.
They create invisible walls around what you think is possible for yourself.

These beliefs often start when we’re young.
They can come from:

• Family

• School experiences

• Friends

• Society

• Past failures

Over time, these beliefs can become so automatic that we don't even realize they're there — shaping our decisions, actions, and even our dreams.

Simple definition: A limiting belief is a thought that tells you "I can't" — even when you could.

Examples of Limiting Beliefs

Here are some common examples:

• “I’m not smart enough to get good grades.”

• “People won’t like me if I’m my true self.”

• “Success is only for lucky people, not me.”

• “I always mess things up, so why try?”

• “If I fail, it means I'm a failure.”

Notice how absolute and final these statements sound?
Limiting beliefs often use words like always, never, and can't.

How Do You Recognize Your Limiting Beliefs?

The tricky thing is that limiting beliefs often hide under feelings like fear, frustration, or self-doubt.

Here’s how to spot them:

1. Listen to Your Self-Talk

Self-talk is the voice inside your head.
Ask yourself:

• Are my thoughts encouraging or discouraging?

• Do I talk myself out of trying new things?

If your thoughts are mostly negative, you might be stuck in a limiting belief.

2. Notice Where You Feel Stuck

Are there goals you want to reach, but you keep quitting or avoiding them?
Examples:

• You want to join the soccer team but feel sure you’ll never make it.

• You dream of acting in a play but tell yourself you're too shy.

Feeling stuck is often a sign that a limiting belief is quietly blocking you.

3. Look for Patterns

Limiting beliefs often show up in patterns:

• Always doubting yourself before tests

• Always feeling you’re "not enough" around certain people

• Always quitting when things get hard

The more you see the pattern, the easier it becomes to recognize the belief behind it.

The Science Behind Limiting Beliefs

Research shows that what we believe literally shapes our brain and our experiences.

Neuroplasticity

Neuroplasticity means that your brain can change and grow based on what you think, learn, and do.

According to a 2020 article from the Frontiers in Psychology journal, our thoughts and beliefs create patterns in the brain — but those patterns are not permanent. (Frontiers in Psychology, 2020)

That means if you change your belief, you can actually rewire your brain!

Growth Mindset

Psychologist Carol Dweck's research has shown that believing abilities can be developed through effort—a concept known as a growth mindset—leads to greater success in academics, sports, and personal development. Individuals with a growth mindset tend to embrace challenges, persist in the face of setbacks, and see effort as a path to mastery. This perspective not only enhances learning outcomes but also fosters resilience. For instance, a 2021 study found that a growth mindset facilitates psychological resilience, particularly in individuals who have experienced emotional neglect and abuse.

In other words:

What you believe about yourself matters. A lot.

How to Change Your Limiting Beliefs

Now the exciting part: You can change them!

Here’s a step-by-step guide:

1. Catch the Belief

First, notice when you say something like:

• "I'm bad at this."

• "I can't."

• "It's impossible for me."

Write it down.
Naming the belief is the first step to breaking its power.

2. Question the Belief

Ask yourself:

• Is this really true?

• Has anyone like me ever done this successfully?

• Where did I even learn this belief?

Most limiting beliefs fall apart under simple questioning.

3. Flip the Belief

Create a new, empowering thought.
Examples:

• Old: "I'm terrible at public speaking."

• New: "I can get better at speaking with practice."

• Old: "I'll never be good at math."

New: "I can learn math if I work at it."
It’s important that your new belief feels possible, even if it doesn’t feel 100% natural yet.

4. Take Small Steps

Prove the new belief to yourself with action:

• If you believe "I can get better at public speaking," try raising your hand once in class.

• If you believe "I can learn math," spend 10 extra minutes a day practicing.

Small wins add up and build your confidence over time.

5. Visualize Your Success

Research has shown that visualization, or mentally simulating an action, activates many of the same brain regions involved in actual movement. A study published in Nature Communications found that motor imagery engages the brain's forward models to predict the sensory consequences of imagined movements, similar to how it processes real actions. Nature

By spending a few minutes each day vividly imagining yourself succeeding—feeling the emotions, seeing the details—you can train your brain to anticipate success. This mental rehearsal can enhance motivation, build confidence, and prepare you for real-life challenges.Psychology Today

Real-Life Example: Mia’s Story

Mia loved drawing but believed she wasn’t “good enough” to be a real artist. Her classmates were talented, and Mia compared herself to them constantly.

One day, she realized that her belief—"I'm not good enough"—was based on fear, not fact.

Mia decided to flip her belief: instead of thinking “I’m not good enough,” she started saying, “I can improve with practice.”

She took a small step: joining an art class at her local library.

Within six months, Mia’s skills grew so much that her drawings were featured in a community show!

Key Takeaways

• Limiting beliefs are thoughts that hold you back.

• You can recognize them by listening to your self-talk, noticing where you feel stuck, and spotting patterns.

• Science shows your brain can change — you are never "stuck" permanently.

• You can change limiting beliefs by catching them, questioning them, flipping them, taking small steps, and visualizing success.

Final Thought

You are far more powerful than any limiting belief you have.
Those beliefs are not who you are — they’re just old thoughts.
And you have the ability to change them, one thought at a time.

Remember:

"Your beliefs don't define you. Your actions do."